Dating during a lockdown. Now I never thought that would be a sentence I would be saying but yet here I am.
Getting myself ready for a FaceTime date because apparently, that’s the new way to date during a global pandemic.
Who says we should stop dating during this time.
No, we can’t do exactly what we would usually do for a date. No meeting at a restaurant or for some drinks, but yes, we can still date; with just a few adjustments.
A few days before lockdown, I went on a first date. Funnily enough, it was on the night that restaurants and bars were due to close. So just before I was about to leave the house for my date, already with the preplanned outfit on, a BBC news flash appeared on my phone. Perfect timing! Do I still go on the date not knowing if things will even be open, or do I cancel and hope we can reschedule? Seeking advice from mum on what I should do, in her words were, “well it might be your last night of freedom.” And luckily for me, I took mum’s advice. I went on that date. And I’m so glad I did. Mums really do know best.
As naive as I was at the time, I thought places would just close temporarily and that a lockdown wouldn’t even happen. I was very wrong. Thankfully I went on this date because, after the first date, we had to wait eight weeks for the second date.
On the first date, our only option where we could grab some food was Nando's. Now I’m not judging Nando’s, I’ll happily enjoy a Nando’s, but for a first date, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Luckily enough, it didn’t matter where we would have eaten because it turned into a pretty fab date.
After being kicked out of Nando’s as they were about to close (for months), we ventured out not wanting the date to end. Walking around Cabot with an airy atmosphere, and everything closed up ready for lockdown, the last thing open was crazy golf. It was a no brainer.
Somehow, and I have no idea how I managed to get a hole in one on the first hole! I couldn’t have planned that any better if I tried. But it happened! Pure luck… but it happened. This then led my date to think I’m some sort of semi-professional golfer, but I had to admit that it really was just pot luck. He stopped sweating after my confession.
A few days later I was sat at work with a colleague (even though the hotel had closed by now), both on the late shift, watching as Boris announced the UK lockdown. And as for many, it was a pretty surreal moment.
Looking back, if I knew that a Nando’s would be the last meal and I wouldn't eat out for over 12 weeks, I would have savoured every last mouth full and would have ordered more than I had. Even if that did mean I looked a bit greedy on the first date. I would be willing to take that chance.
So now what? Do I continue to talk to someone I had a great first date with or do I leave it until the lockdown has ended and just see if we can pick things up where we left them?
We decided to continue talking and I am so happy that we did. Week after week after week, the lockdown continued, and I continued to talk to my date.
So what more can you do when you’re trying to date someone during a lockdown?
I’ve always been a fan of FaceTime, having continuously been FaceTiming friends and family, even before the lockdown; but I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. So after a few weeks of talking, my date FaceTimed me out of the blue. I was over the moon.
However… the first time my date decided to call me (unexpectedly), I was in my pj’s, glasses on with my hair towel turban wrapped around my hair. Not exactly the second impression I wanted to give him. So, of course, I couldn’t answer straight away! I wasn’t prepared for that just yet. So, after throwing my hair towel across the room, I called back all blushed because the guy I fancied was FaceTiming me.
It’s a much scarier concept FaceTiming someone rather than meeting them in person. There are no distractions, you’re not doing an activity or eating food, instead, you’re looking at each other through a screen with only your conversation to enjoy; which luckily for us was never a problem.
We scheduled our FaceTime dates and regularly exchanged texts. What the lockdown gave us was time. Time to really get to know each other, without everyday distractions. This was a completely different way of dating that neither of us had ever experienced.
So instead of choosing an outfit, styling your hair and applying your make up perfectly for your second date, you find yourself getting ready for a FaceTime date. Something I never thought I would be doing.
After that first initial (scary) FaceTime with each other, we continued to schedule more, so we both had something to look forward to in the week. When you’re face to face with someone new you can easily find so much to talk to each other about and find out more about each other; all the exciting aspects of meeting someone new. Now, instead of talking in person, you’re talking through a screen.
Another beauty of a FaceTime date is you only need to focus on the top half of your outfit and put on the tiniest bit of makeup… if you even want too. So instead of having to choose a full outfit for our next date, I stayed in my pj’s, slipper socks and just put on a t-shirt that wasn’t covered in bananas. I was all set!
And with all that’s going on, feeling excited to FaceTime for your second, third or fourth very unconventional date, was really something special to look forward to. To still be able to get to know someone as you would on any other dates in person. Plus it’s a good test for any new relationship.
At last, rules are relaxing. We’re allowed to start meeting up with someone from another household. Yes, you have to be careful and stay 2 meters apart, but finally, you can have a face to face conversation with the guy you’re dating. And what does that mean? A social distancing date!
Seeing someone in person is so exciting but nerve-racking all at once, after weeks of FaceTimes, texting and nervously trying to hold your phone in the best angle for each FaceTime, you’re standing in front of them at the start of what you may call the ‘official second date’… or eighth-date depending on if you count the FaceTimes as ‘real’ dates or not. But there he was. Someone you’ve only met once before but after weeks of talking, you find yourself knowing a lot more about them than you would on any other second date.
What do you do for a social distancing date? If the weather is nice, you have plenty of options to chose from. From homemade picnics to takeaways in the garden, bbq’s in the garden. Walks, walks and more walks. Going out exploring together, walking around parks, towns, beaches, gardens and National Trust sites. Bike rides, tennis, golf. And with even more places beginning to reopen, the list is only going to continue to grow.
So if you’re worried about dating again, don’t be, enjoy dating again. There are ways around it. Things are only going to continue to get better and easier for us all so it won’t be like this forever.
That’s enough from me and my dating life. I hope I could provide a giggle here or there.
Stay safe
Amy x